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Professional vintage retro t-shirt design featuring the complete phrase 'because alcohol tastes better than tears' in authentic 1970s typographic style. Classic bold condensed fonts with genuine retro letterform construction, tight character spacing with period-accurate styling. Rich warm color palette combining burnt orange as dominant color, mustard yellow for contrast, and chocolate brown for depth, creating cohesive nostalgic vintage appeal. Strategic stacked text arrangement with deliberate font size variations creating dynamic visual interest and proper typographic hierarchy, perfectly centered alignment with balanced negative space. Authentic groovy retro vibe with 1970s-specific design characteristics including rounded terminals and vintage font aesthetics. Comprehensive distressed texture effects throughout all lettering simulating authentic vintage wear with subtle grain, fading edges, and weathered appearance. Sophisticated throwback design with refined execution, balanced composition with professional typographic treatment. Detailed retro styling with period-appropriate elements, optimized specifically for t-shirt printing with high-resolution rendering and clean vector-quality letterforms. | PODspy AI Design